We tend to think of blackmail with regard only to its legal ramifications. And, of course, we know that blackmail is illegal, because it is a form of extortion. From a legal prespective, blackmail means prison time and/or fines because it attempts to coerce or force someone into doing something by threatening them in some way. Emotional blackmail is the same because it carries with it an emotional threat. But in the case of emotional blackmail, it is not so much the blackmailer that is imprisoned, but rather the person being emotionally blackmailed. Today we are discussing emotional blackmail in hopes that we can help you create a key to get yourself out of its prison.

Today we are talking to Dr. Don St. John, author of the book "Healing the Wounds of Childhood," as this is one of the most important of all of the subjects we could discuss. Very often it is these wounds that keep us trapped, even as we are striving to get past them in some kind of way. WE simply do not realize how our past is invading our present. Or, if we do, we believe that those wounds somehow define us. How can we grow into our full potential while these wounds remain yet unhealed? How do we increase our ability to receive and absorb love, enjoy more life-giving love connections, deal more effectively with stress and improve our resilience and health all while expanding our sense of who we are? These questions and more will be answered during today's show. Don't miss it.

From our 2015 talk with Andrew Solomon, writer and lecturer on psychology, politics, and the arts and winner of the National Book Award for "The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression." He is an activist in LGBTQ+ rights, mental health, and the arts. His NY Times bestselling book, and the subject of our interview today, entitled "Far from the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity," is also the winner of several awards, including being chosen at among the NY Times Ten Best Books of 2012. It has been called "A bold and unambiguous call to redefine how we view difference… A stunning work of scholarship and compassion" (Carmela Ciuraru, USA Today) distinguished similarly by many other notables for its exceptional profundity, compassion and insight. Today we are going to take an intimate look at this entire concept of loving differentness. Don't miss this unique opportunity to gain insight into the power of love.

Andrew Solomon is an award-winning writer and lecturer specializing in psychology, politics and culture known for his books on depression, such as the National Book Award-winning The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression and identity, such as the National Book Critics Circle Award-Winning Far from the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity. He is a professor of Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, a former president of PEN America, and a prominent activist for LGBTQ+rights and mental health. His work is published in numerous languages, and he has written extensively for major publications like The New Yorker and The New York Times.

It's natural for us to want to get what we want. Unfortunately, we often use bargaining as a way to get what we want and to seek a sense of safety--that might not actually be safe. When we are trying to get to acceptance of any difficult reality, we might reach the stage in which we bargain. So, if I'm dying of cancer, I might bargain with life by saying "I'll never do that again if you just let me live." And this is natural, for we really want to live. However, bargaining can become toxic, in that it may keep us stuck in a ever shrinking loop of "IF I... THEN he'll...". We might, for example, stay for years in a toxic relationship or situation bargaining and bargaining with the same reality, looking for different results. So, "IF I can just say it right, THEN she'll stop drinking." "IF he would just treat me better, THEN I can finally feel loved." "IF I stay and become very loving, THEN he won't hit me again." "IF I hang into this heinous job for ten more years THEN I can retire and finally get to do what I want.""You can see her that there is always an IF/THEN. That's what makes it a bargain. And as you can see, we can stay trapped in really bad situations and relationships through such bargaining. We can get stuck for entire lifetimes in these toxic bargains. These are bargains with the devil in which we sell our souls for a magic trick. Come learn how to stop bargaining and start LIVING!