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Christ’s theological and political enemies try, always try, to catch him out with multitudes of trick questions. Which is the greatest commandment in the law? they ask, craftily, ready to make a case for the one he does not choose.

And from the morass of the 613 commands in the Torah, Christ chooses just two. The great and first commandment, the megale and protos commandment, he says, is to love God, with all our heart, and with all our soul, and with all our mind. Love God, because he, creator of the universe, and of you; lover of the world and of you; dream-giver, dream-granter, is worthy of our love.

The second one is like it, love your neighbour as yourself; do unto others what you wish they would do unto you. Treat yourself gently; treat others gently. The entire law and the prophets hang on these two commandments, Jesus says.

And Jesus models living these commandments--waking early, and slipping to lonely places to chat with his father; maintaining his physical, mental and spiritual health by hiking to be alone with God in deserts, by the River Jordan, on mountains, in gardens. And he loved people, sharing bread and wine he created by the power of faith, cooking fish for his friends, bringing healing through his presence, his words, and his wisdom.

A great golden triad on which to base our lives--love of God, of others, and of our own selves.

My memoir: Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India UK USA

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Jesus, wise as a serpent, gentle as a dove, brave as a lion.

Outraged at those who attempted to make money off people’s faith and longing for God, he rampages through the temple, overturning the tables of the moneychangers. He heals, he teaches; he’s proclaimed as Messiah. And he incurs the wrath of his old enemies, the chief priests and elders who ask: Who gave you the authority to do such things?

But Jesus coolly answers their hostile questions with a loaded question of his own, trapping the trappers.

So cool, so calm, so wise! We have no record of Jesus running, rushing, being stressed or lacking peace. He never speaks on his own he tells us, without checking in with the Father. So, no foolish, ill-judged statements.

How do we develop these traits? Long before the day of testing, we must practice breathing, and tuning in to the frequency of the Father. We remember, fearlessly, that our interrogators have no power over our lives which the Father has not permitted them. That our life is in our Father’s hands. That not all questions need to be answered. For feeding pearls of wisdom to hungry pigs, would risk you, the edible, being devoured. Jesus directly answered just three of the 183 questions he was asked, refusing to answer some, answering others with a good question.

Wisdom begins by slowing down and checking in with the Father before we speak or act. His wisdom percolates through our souls as we practice asking him for the best way to do things, organise a home, or write. And then we build upwards, asking for wisdom in ever more complex things.

Listening for the voice of God before we speak, tapping into the Spirit, which Jesus calls streams of living water within us, will give us the wisdom to know what to say which, frequently, is nothing at all. It will quieten us with the silence of God, which sings through the world, through sun and stars, sky and flowers.

My memoir: Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India UK USA

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So, Joseph, intending to quietly break up with his fiancée, Mary, found pregnant, though not be him, is assured by an angel that she had conceived by the power of God’s spirit, and the child would be the long-awaited Messiah, who would deliver people from the chokehold of their sins.

And Joseph is not afraid, and lightning-bolt “coincidences” verified the angel’s words. A new star appeared in the heavens, and astrologers from the East, laden with gifts for the new King, followed it, until it stopped over a manger, where the temporarily homeless Jesus was laid. A location described by an angel to shepherds doing a night watch, who then visited.

But then, an angel revisits Joseph with a different message. No longer “Do not be afraid,” but flee with the child to Egypt, for jealous, insecure Herod, hearing from the Magi of this baby and forever King, plans to kill him.

Do not be afraid, but yet flee? Become a refugee? But the angel’s original statements were verified by so many coincidences…Magi appearing with gold which would sustain them in Egypt, angel-sent shepherds with rumours of great companies of angels singing of coming peace.

Joseph flees.

Fear is allowing ourselves to be frozen or panicked by imaginary what-ifs. It tenses our bodies; strains health, sleep and relationships; makes us stingy with ourselves and others; leads to overwork, and time wasted doing pointless things for fear of people’s ill opinions.

Prudence is wisdom--using our experience and spiritual discernment as we battle the demonic forces of this dark world, in Paul’s phrase. It’s fighting with divinely powerful weapons: truth, righteousness, faith, Scripture, and prayer, while surrendering our thoughts to Christ.

So let’s act prudently, wisely and bravely, silencing fear, while remaining alert to God’s guidance, delivered through inner peace or intuitions of danger and wrongness, our spiritual senses tuned to the Spirit’s “No,” his “Slow,” his “Go,” as cautious as a serpent, protected, while being as gentle as a dove, or a lamb among wolves.

My memoir: Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India UK USA

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Tamar, who seduced her father-in-law, Judah. Rahab, a Canaanite prostitute. Bathsheba, mother of Solomon, who was raped by David. Jacob, scammer and inheritance thief! Solomon, with 300 concubines and 700 wives. They were all among the chosen ancestors of Jesus. From them, he came. Iraqis, Canaanites, Moabites, Hittites, Ammonites--were all named as his ancestors. From all of them, Christ came.

And he came for everyone. All can dive into the cascades of his love. He is Jesus for everyone. For the brilliant and the shallow, the selfish and the kind. For those who’ve memorised their Bibles and those who rarely open them; those whose prayers move mountains, and those who worry instead; for the theologically erudite, and those with childlike faith. Liars, embezzlers, the avaricious, psychopaths, sociopaths, the sad and those who sadden others: to all, his redemption is offered.

He came for people from every nation and language. For those we respect and find interesting and those we secretly dislike, judge, and are threatened by. For the pushy and the gentle, for strivers and the lazy, for the ethical and the dishonest, he comes, bearing gifts: the ability to give and receive love, answered prayer, his guidance, his presence, his wisdom, his peace.

Nothing separates the thirsty heart from his love, not our stinginess, vengefulness, malice, untruthfulness, selfishness or manipulations, things he understands, for he lived among us, and loved us and left us the inheritance of his Spirit to change us.

And we come to him through the narrow gates of repentance, of surrender of all that we have and are to him, of soaking in sections of his ancient sacred book. We come humbly, breathing and praying: Come into my heart, Lord Jesus. There is room in my heart for you. And he will come again, with grace, with transformation, as he did all those years ago, when he came for everyone, and he came for you. Maranatha, come Lord Jesus!

My memoir: Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India UK USA

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So counter-cultural were Jesus’s values, that even those who lived with him continuously for three years could not fully grasp them.

So his spirited apostles, James and John, whom he called “The Sons of Thunder,” get their mum to ask him for the places of the greatest prestige and visibility, on his right and left, in his court, once he came into his Kingdom.

And the other ten are indignant! Jesus asks them to cluster around him and explains (once again!) the ground rules of the topsy-turvy kingdom he is inaugurating. They are not to lord it over others or boss them around. The greatest, the one who is first, will be the one who is a blessing to others. And so, he offers them, not the second or third place, but the first place in the lives of those they encounter. Be the one who sees others, listens intently, slows down for others, cares for them, helps them.

Such a person is always one of the greatest people in the lives of those blessed to encounter them. They don’t need to sharp-elbow themselves to sit with the greatest. To those whom they have blessed, they are the greatest, in the way Christ himself modelled. They have used their one, two or five talents to bless others, to find the place where their deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.

My memoir: Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India UK USA

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So Jesus makes a beautiful offer to the earnest, moral young man who came to him, seeking a spiritual life: Come, follow me. Remarkably, the young man claimed that he has kept all the commandments from his youth, including the command to love one’s neighbour as oneself, a statement Jesus does not challenge.

The challenge Jesus does offers him, however, the man cannot accept—to sell his vast possessions, give the money to the poor, and follow Jesus encumbered.

He leaves, grieving, and Jesus looks at him, loves him, and famously observes that it’s easier for a camel to squeeze through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to live in the world of wonders which is living under Christ’s kingship, guidance and protection.

He reassures his dismayed disciples, however, that with God even the treasure-burdened can squeeze into God’s kingdom, “for with God, all things are possible.”

Following him would quite literally mean walking into a world of daily wonders, and immensely rich conversation, walking through Israel, Lebanon, Syria, and Jordan, quite impossible to do with suitcases and backpacks laden with treasure.

For what would we reject God’s specific, internally heard whisper or directive, a micro-call? That is the idol which currently grips and possesses us.

Not all of us have great riches, nor is money everyone’s greatest temptation—it can be success, fame, universal esteem, you name it…

But, since with God all things are possible, even those who waver in their pursuit of God can still experience him in fits and snatches, find our spirits singing on a walk or during worship in church, or find our hearts strangely warmed by Scripture, and, sometimes, even “see” Christ stand before us.

For Christ looks at us, Christ loves us, and says, “With God, all things are possible,” even we, the flawed, entering his beautiful Kingdom.

My memoir: Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India UK USA

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https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/07/how-to-find-the-freedom-of-forgiveness/

How to Find the Freedom of Forgiveness

Completely letting go of anger and resentment and forgiving is an emotional transaction as well as a decision of the will. We discover that we cannot command our emotions to forgive and let go of anger, just as we cannot ourselves to love or like or hate.

But given that forgiveness gives us clarity of mind, spirit, and emotions, and so much more space in each of these… it’s important to master this gentle art. How?

When tormenting memories surface, our cortisol, adrenaline, blood pressure, and heart rate all rise. It’s good to literally take a quick walk with Jesus, to calm this neurological and physiological storm. And then honestly name these emotions… for feelings buried alive never die.

Then, in a process called “the healing of memories,” mentally visualise the painful scene, seeing Christ himself there, his eyes brimming with compassion. Ask Christ to heal the sting, to draw the poison from these memories of experiences that have injured your mind, spirit, character, and assessment of yourself. We are caterpillars in a ring of fire, as Martin Luther wrote--unable to rescue ourselves. We need help from above.

Accept what happened. What happened, happened. Then, as the Apostle Paul advises, give thanks in everything, though not for everything. Give thanks because God can bring good out of the swindle and the injustice. Ask him to creatively bring magic and beauty from the ashes.

If, like the persistent widow Jesus used as an example, you want to pray for justice--that the swindler and the abusers’ characters are revealed, so many are protected, then do so--but that’s a double-edged prayer. First, purify your own life.

And now, just forgive. Perhaps say aloud, I forgive you for … You are setting a captive free. Yourself. Come alive. Be free.

And when memories of deep injuries arise, say: “No. No. Not going there.” Stop repeating the devastating story to yourself or anyone else. Don’t waste your time and emotional energy, nor let

yourself be overwhelmed by anger at someone else’s evil actions. Don’t let the past poison today. Refuse to allow re-injury. Deliberately think instead of things noble, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy.

So keep trying, in obedience, to forgive, to let go of your anger until you suddenly realise that you have forgiven, and can remember past events without agitation. Christ be with us!

My memoir: Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India UK USA

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So, the temple taxmen come for Jesus and Peter. And Jesus, who repeatedly referred to his powerful body as God’s temple on earth, decides to pay anyway, to avoid a scandal over something trivial--for him. And so, he instructs Peter, a professional fisherman with boats, and massive nets, to catch a fish with a line and hook, tool of the amateur fisherman, and look inside its mouth! And Peter swallows his pride, fishes like a weekend hobbyist, and finds a four-drachma coin, the exact silver needed for his tax, and Jesus’s.

One should never underestimate God’s wonder-working power, or his miraculous provisions, and surprising strategies to create wealth. Prayer for God’s miracles should increasing become our first resort!!

However, sometimes, as Tim Keller wrote, God allows us to fail, as when Peter fished hard all night and caught nothing---to teach us and prepare us through the failure, so that eventually, we may become fisher of humans, if that is our call, or, if we’re entrepreneurial types, perhaps even fishers of money.

My memoir: Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India UK USA

Blog: anitamathias.com

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My book of essays: Wandering Between Two Worlds (US) and UK