“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” – Exodus 20:12 In this devotional today, we will ponder this scripture, and at the end of my message, I will pray for you to lift you up to God and ask for His peace, protection, provision, and promotion in your life. https://onlinediscipleshipforwomen.com/honor-your-father-and-mother-exodus-20-12 I’ve pondered Exodus 20:12 for many years because I have always wanted to honor my mother. As far as my father, I did not know him but I do know that he spent most of his life in prison. If you want to know about my life story, you can read my article called “Getting to know Anna Szabo.” If you read “Getting to know Anna Szabo,” you will learn that my narcissistic mother abused me, tortured me violently, bullied me cruelly, molested me at a very young age, taught me to prostitute my body, encouraged me to commit suicide, and told me repeatedly “I hate you and I just want you dead!” I wanted to honor God by honoring my mother but I wasn’t sure how. My mother told me that the best thing I could do for her was to die. I attempted suicide twice at 11 and 12. But God saved me and revealed to me that He had a purpose for my life. I knew that suicide was not God’s will for my life, I knew that I had to continue living faithfully. I stayed in touch with my toxic mother after emigrating from Russia to America in 2008. However, by doing so, I was only exposing myself to more abuse and seeing clearly that my mother’s goal, indeed, remains until this day to bully me into suicide, which she told me will forever be her mission. When I went no contact with her, people in my Christian community would tell me I must let it go and try harder to make my mother happy. Today’s Biblical devotional is for Christian women who, like me, have struggled on the one hand with guilt when separating from their abusive mothers and on the other hand longing for peace, safety, and boundaries to protect themselves as they should. Exodus 20:12 makes it clear that your ultimate goal as a Christian woman is this: “that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” Every time I was in contact with my toxic narcissistic mother, she’d bully me into suicidal ideation. It’s January 23rd of 2021, Saturday. My birthday was on Monday January 18th. I turned 38 years old. I haven’t seen my toxic violent cruel monstrous mother since 2008. This year is the first time I am able to share what I’ve learned on my journey with God who has grown my faith and revealed His purpose for my life to me, which is this: “that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” That is God’s plan for my life and for your life. The most important thing is for me to continue living life, and my mother attempted to compromise this many times by physically attacking me and of course attacking me emotionally and mentally. After years of pondering Exodus 20:12, I have realized that maintaining contact with my narcissistic mother makes living a long life in the land my God has given me impossible. I had to choose to follow God. I had to choose life over darkness and death, which my mother inflicted on me. This year, in the past 22 days, I have released 15 videos on my YouTube channel about a specific topic dedicated to narcissistic mothers and their daughters. I’ve shared my own story of narcissistic abuse and so much more helpful information for Christian women who endured abuse from their toxic mothers. Here’s what one woman wrote in her comments on my recent YouTube video: “Thank you so much. I appreciate your message. I’m glad you’re doing these videos. I’m glad you got away from your torment. So many people don’t. I’m also glad God saved you. Be blessed!” This woman who commented on my video called called “What Does The Bible Say About a Narcissistic Mothers?” is right. Talking about this topic is unusual and very difficult. But God called me to ministry, and He asked me to share with you the same comfort I myself received from Him. It is why I founded Online Discipleship for Women in 2017, and now my ministry has helped Christian women across 208 countries. Glory to God! This is what it means to have days that are long in the land that the Lord my God is giving me. It’s only possible because I am alive. I am still alive only because because I established boundaries to protect myself from the death and darkness imposed on me by my toxic and conscience-lacking narcissistic mother. Only because of my no contact with her, am I able to honor God and continue living and serving His kingdom. By honoring God and doing His will, I am honoring my mother, though she’d prefer me dead. If you are interested in the topic of honoring your mother, there’s a reason for it. If you’ve struggled with guilt when setting ...
