Pat Byrne interviewed me last Thursday, 4 July, 2024. We discuss my dream of becoming a priest when I was an adolescent: ‘Doctor, teacher or priest? I decided to do the best of them all: become a priest!’

We chat about married priests, and coming to the realization that the Catholic Church would never allow its priests to marry. And my shock of realizing the Big Lie of all religions. And how losing religion and finding myself has been the story of my life.

We also discussed the vow of obedience. ‘It was almost harder than celibacy. With the vow of obedience, you are expected to believe that the decision the Superior makes is the will of God.’

I decided that didn’t make any sense. They were fallible human beings. Yet their decisions could be detrimental for me or anyone. You know yourself better than anyone else. I know myself better than anyone else knows me. Yet you’re expected to believe that their decision is the will of God?

I speak about the benefit of studying philosophy and theology. It gave me the intellectual basis for my non-belief. For instance, the first resurrection story in the earliest canonical Gospel, the Gospel of Mark, had no account of the ‘Risen Jesus’. It was added years later.

I personally came to my honest judgement that religion is a Big Lie. I felt resentful that I had been indoctrinated into religious belief as a child.

I never wanted to be a teacher and certainly not as a priest. I couldn’t see the point of being celibate, obedient and poor in order to teach! There were lots of excellent lay teachers out there.

But after nine years in a seminary you’re not qualified to do anything. Ironically, I went into teaching and taught religious education. I loved that there was no attempt to inculcate faith in the London school where I taught. It was about teaching pupils to think for themselves.

We discussed my move to England, meeting Ruth and falling in love. We’re married now more than 30 years. And I’ve written a song about losing religion and finding myself and the love of my life: So Glad I Married You.

My documentary on RTE, From Belief to Unbelief, was 40 minutes. Afterwards, I realized I couldn’t tell my story in so few minutes. So I wrote two memoirs In My Gut I Don’t Believe and Saved By A Woman. Then I wondered if I could share my story in a more compact way, so I wrote a song about it.

I wrote it with The Rayne and Andrea Patron. The first verse tells the story of my seminary years, which, in my first memoir, took over 80,000 words. The second verse, in one compact verse, tells the story of my next six years, that took me another 80,000-plus words in my second memoir. That one is about meeting Ruth.

I found it very emotional when I first heard The Rayne singing it.

‘And,’ interjected Presenter Pat Byrne, ‘it will touch deep inside a lot of people, I’m sure, because it’s an absolutely beautiful song.’

Pat finished the interview by playing our new song. Hope you like it.

Click here for Spotify Link to So Glad I Married You

Click here for YouTube Link to So Glad I Married You

Click here for iTunes, Apple Music and Deezer links to So Glad I Married You.