Monika Staab ((soon to be Dr.) is awaiting her certificate for a PhD in adult and continuing education—specifically related to international comparison in educational processes. She shares about the need for courage and vulnerability to step into joy and ease on the academic path. As a dissertation coach, she is in a “learning rhythm” with the clients. And, she reminds us all that when we let go of what other people think (or what we think they think), we can lead with excellence. Monika and I have different characters, peaks, and valleys, but our story is the same...We used our pain to fuel the desire to create higher vibrations in higher education one professor, one lecturer, one PhD student, one person at a time. Systems are slow to change, but we can keep reflecting on our why, what we need, and what do we want to change? Other key takeaways include:

• Join us in a guided breath practice: Andrew Huberman’s lab at Stanford found that these 2-3 breaths can calm us (before presentations, whenever we need). It’s an instinctive breath.
• Give yourself more space
• From the outside—everyone said you’re so successful, organized, perfect, etc., but there’s a different story when we look inside.
• Want to be the person I missed throughout my journey- someone by my side to save time, energy and pain so that’s what she’s providing 1:1 coaching
• What do I want, and need? What are my values?
• In academic, it seems like everyone is perfect. Has it all together. So, in order to belong, I have to be miserable and perfect
• COVID let Monika see that professors were struggling- their faces, health issues, etc.
• Check in: what do I need now? Maybe meditation is no longer working. Self-care has misconceptions
• Yes, there are always concerns for money for self-employed/entrepreneur, but it is worth it
• If you keep thinking “if I have this degree, I’ll be happy” ; we put too much pressure on ourselves: you have to look into yourself, your soul
• Takes courage to step in believe and redefine success
• Where did we get the idea that the professors have why, anchor point, joy?
• PhD students afraid to share mistakes and struggles because it’s so competitive
• Mind your PhD namesake: what is important to me courage to share I’m not ok and I have struggles. Release mask and façade
• Be clear on passion, values and purpose. You can pick a career and pivot. Find your why and purpose can change over time
• There is no direct word to translate flourishing in German—and in English, it’s a word you can feel
• Flourishing isn’t an end goal, and achievement, it’s a continuous process, check in
• We don’t need another slide deck, we just need to connect
• Change our own lives and have a ripple effect

More at:

www.mindyourphd.com

https://www.instagram.com/mindyourphd/

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In reflecting on her stellar career thus far, Dr. Heather Leach brings a lightness to the journey. She recounts how she started her education but was “there for the soccer”… finding the degree came separately. Unsurprisingly, to me, she found Health and Exercise Science. Through an internship at NASA she learned what the research was… then came a MS and PhD and Postdoc and when we talked, she was in the last few weeks of her sabbatical (academic rest). We laugh and reflect on the journey, trying to lay out some “cheat codes” for you to find joy in your academic pursuits. A lot of it comes down to this: find your passion; dial up what you love, dial down what you don’t love; take sacred rest whenever you can. My favorite share... "What are you going to do with your PhD?... Whatever the hell I want." Other key takeaways include:

• Find your passion and maybe you can “back fill” what job or degree
• Exercise as treatment to chronic disease
• You can hold on to the fun of learning when you constantly curious
• Seek all the information you can: find the right fit for your expertise and daily desires
• Beware of our own self-imposed goals
• If you work all weekend or all break, there’s still more to do, where do you press pause, where do you stop
• Along the way you might find the epiphany, “I know what I should do to play the game, but I struggle, it doesn’t excite me. If I got the grant if the reviewers say high impact but I don’t think we should do the study. Can I do rigorous science and follow the rules but do the work I think will actually make a difference to the field and the people we are doing these studies for?”
• Slow down: Dr. Leach wishes she had had a 5 year plan with step by step foresight
• If you have the privilege of sabbatical: TAKE it…figure it out, stay cation: Do not decline yourself the reset
• You can make this whatever you want it to be (the pursuit, what you do with it, how you apply, who you serve) …. Don’t want for a dept head or mentor to tell you that
• You can have a restful, peaceful, and filled with adventure, by design
• Don’t forget the interests you had before, they don’t have to be hidden
• Flourishing is firing on all cylinders: Let’s get it!
• Redefining what success is, it’s not the same motivator that got us to tenure

When people are told that they are overly sensitive or thinking too much—instead of lauding gifts of insight and protection—they feel isolated and alone, and start to wonder, “Is there something wrong with me?” This was the genesis of Miriam Verheyden’s experience with her own self-doubt, intrusive thoughts and… eventual understanding of depression, alcohol misuse, and PMDD. PMDD is premenstrual dysphoric disorder, which is distinctly different from PMS and is more closely related to hormone imbalances that lead to sever psychological symptoms (like depression, anger) as well as skin, gastrointestinal symptoms, fluid retention to name a few. At the cross-section of being on her 40s, being almost 2 years sober, and having multiple incredible published books out—Miriam brings a voice to women navigating shame and resilience. I almost audibly gasp when she says she doesn't take being called "selfish" as an insult: We are responsible for ourselves, we have to be selfish.

Other key takeaways include:

• All feelings are valid, observe with compassion, feelings don’t define you. In savasana or otherwise
• If you don’t want to talk to someone, start writing- it’s liberating and often not as bad as you think it is. Reach outside of yourself.
• How do you let go of what you’ve written? Once it’s out it’s not yours anymore- write and release
• Journey we are on to become our best selves while navigating everything happening in the world is messy, not polished, just like a “snapshot” within a memoir
• In sobriety, everything is turned up (brighter, louder, flooding emotions)
• Hiding your “not good sides” is more painful than outing them, shame is such a heavy feeling to carry.
• Warm ball inside of me, warming me—everything that happened and I’ve been through is ok
• Hide = this is terrible. Out it = better outside perspective. Not that bad
• Raised with conditional love = get love when you do what your caregivers and teachers approve/ like
• Don’t should all over yourself: do more, try harder to maintain friendships, become a person you are proud of – without being in hustle culture of always improving—but be somebody you can look in the eye and say you know what, I did the best I could. I'm trying to be kind and helpful, and if others don’t understand or approve, it has nothing to do with me
• Unlearn decades of conditioning… of being pleasing… to the eye, the way we behave.
• Rebellious I’m not playing this game anymore
• Find sisterhood: See women as friends and supporters
• People’s opinions, or critiques: It ceases to matter. It stings. But it doesn’t really matter
• Someone bothering you: You have the right to not respond
• Refuse to see “selfish” as an insult because it’s nobody else’s responsibility
• Cutting out drinking is a huge time saver
• I can be alone with thoughts and feel at peace; Wake up before the alarm
• What we women have to learn is to not be so hard on ourselves, we don’t have to do anything; we are worthy on days when we literally don’t do anything. If there’s a day you have to stay in bed, that’s ok. The myth that we always have to be better—just take it easy more kindness and grace

More at: https://miriamverheyden.com/

Specifically, the book that started Everything is Broken and Completely Fine