Monika Staab ((soon to be Dr.) is awaiting her certificate for a PhD in adult and continuing education—specifically related to international comparison in educational processes. She shares about the need for courage and vulnerability to step into joy and ease on the academic path. As a dissertation coach, she is in a “learning rhythm” with the clients. And, she reminds us all that when we let go of what other people think (or what we think they think), we can lead with excellence. Monika and I have different characters, peaks, and valleys, but our story is the same...We used our pain to fuel the desire to create higher vibrations in higher education one professor, one lecturer, one PhD student, one person at a time. Systems are slow to change, but we can keep reflecting on our why, what we need, and what do we want to change? Other key takeaways include:

• Join us in a guided breath practice: Andrew Huberman’s lab at Stanford found that these 2-3 breaths can calm us (before presentations, whenever we need). It’s an instinctive breath.
• Give yourself more space
• From the outside—everyone said you’re so successful, organized, perfect, etc., but there’s a different story when we look inside.
• Want to be the person I missed throughout my journey- someone by my side to save time, energy and pain so that’s what she’s providing 1:1 coaching
• What do I want, and need? What are my values?
• In academic, it seems like everyone is perfect. Has it all together. So, in order to belong, I have to be miserable and perfect
• COVID let Monika see that professors were struggling- their faces, health issues, etc.
• Check in: what do I need now? Maybe meditation is no longer working. Self-care has misconceptions
• Yes, there are always concerns for money for self-employed/entrepreneur, but it is worth it
• If you keep thinking “if I have this degree, I’ll be happy” ; we put too much pressure on ourselves: you have to look into yourself, your soul
• Takes courage to step in believe and redefine success
• Where did we get the idea that the professors have why, anchor point, joy?
• PhD students afraid to share mistakes and struggles because it’s so competitive
• Mind your PhD namesake: what is important to me courage to share I’m not ok and I have struggles. Release mask and façade
• Be clear on passion, values and purpose. You can pick a career and pivot. Find your why and purpose can change over time
• There is no direct word to translate flourishing in German—and in English, it’s a word you can feel
• Flourishing isn’t an end goal, and achievement, it’s a continuous process, check in
• We don’t need another slide deck, we just need to connect
• Change our own lives and have a ripple effect

More at:

www.mindyourphd.com

https://www.instagram.com/mindyourphd/

Sign up for a coffee chat!

In reflecting on her stellar career thus far, Dr. Heather Leach brings a lightness to the journey. She recounts how she started her education but was “there for the soccer”… finding the degree came separately. Unsurprisingly, to me, she found Health and Exercise Science. Through an internship at NASA she learned what the research was… then came a MS and PhD and Postdoc and when we talked, she was in the last few weeks of her sabbatical (academic rest). We laugh and reflect on the journey, trying to lay out some “cheat codes” for you to find joy in your academic pursuits. A lot of it comes down to this: find your passion; dial up what you love, dial down what you don’t love; take sacred rest whenever you can. My favorite share... "What are you going to do with your PhD?... Whatever the hell I want." Other key takeaways include:

• Find your passion and maybe you can “back fill” what job or degree
• Exercise as treatment to chronic disease
• You can hold on to the fun of learning when you constantly curious
• Seek all the information you can: find the right fit for your expertise and daily desires
• Beware of our own self-imposed goals
• If you work all weekend or all break, there’s still more to do, where do you press pause, where do you stop
• Along the way you might find the epiphany, “I know what I should do to play the game, but I struggle, it doesn’t excite me. If I got the grant if the reviewers say high impact but I don’t think we should do the study. Can I do rigorous science and follow the rules but do the work I think will actually make a difference to the field and the people we are doing these studies for?”
• Slow down: Dr. Leach wishes she had had a 5 year plan with step by step foresight
• If you have the privilege of sabbatical: TAKE it…figure it out, stay cation: Do not decline yourself the reset
• You can make this whatever you want it to be (the pursuit, what you do with it, how you apply, who you serve) …. Don’t want for a dept head or mentor to tell you that
• You can have a restful, peaceful, and filled with adventure, by design
• Don’t forget the interests you had before, they don’t have to be hidden
• Flourishing is firing on all cylinders: Let’s get it!
• Redefining what success is, it’s not the same motivator that got us to tenure

When people are told that they are overly sensitive or thinking too much—instead of lauding gifts of insight and protection—they feel isolated and alone, and start to wonder, “Is there something wrong with me?” This was the genesis of Miriam Verheyden’s experience with her own self-doubt, intrusive thoughts and… eventual understanding of depression, alcohol misuse, and PMDD. PMDD is premenstrual dysphoric disorder, which is distinctly different from PMS and is more closely related to hormone imbalances that lead to sever psychological symptoms (like depression, anger) as well as skin, gastrointestinal symptoms, fluid retention to name a few. At the cross-section of being on her 40s, being almost 2 years sober, and having multiple incredible published books out—Miriam brings a voice to women navigating shame and resilience. I almost audibly gasp when she says she doesn't take being called "selfish" as an insult: We are responsible for ourselves, we have to be selfish.

Other key takeaways include:

• All feelings are valid, observe with compassion, feelings don’t define you. In savasana or otherwise
• If you don’t want to talk to someone, start writing- it’s liberating and often not as bad as you think it is. Reach outside of yourself.
• How do you let go of what you’ve written? Once it’s out it’s not yours anymore- write and release
• Journey we are on to become our best selves while navigating everything happening in the world is messy, not polished, just like a “snapshot” within a memoir
• In sobriety, everything is turned up (brighter, louder, flooding emotions)
• Hiding your “not good sides” is more painful than outing them, shame is such a heavy feeling to carry.
• Warm ball inside of me, warming me—everything that happened and I’ve been through is ok
• Hide = this is terrible. Out it = better outside perspective. Not that bad
• Raised with conditional love = get love when you do what your caregivers and teachers approve/ like
• Don’t should all over yourself: do more, try harder to maintain friendships, become a person you are proud of – without being in hustle culture of always improving—but be somebody you can look in the eye and say you know what, I did the best I could. I'm trying to be kind and helpful, and if others don’t understand or approve, it has nothing to do with me
• Unlearn decades of conditioning… of being pleasing… to the eye, the way we behave.
• Rebellious I’m not playing this game anymore
• Find sisterhood: See women as friends and supporters
• People’s opinions, or critiques: It ceases to matter. It stings. But it doesn’t really matter
• Someone bothering you: You have the right to not respond
• Refuse to see “selfish” as an insult because it’s nobody else’s responsibility
• Cutting out drinking is a huge time saver
• I can be alone with thoughts and feel at peace; Wake up before the alarm
• What we women have to learn is to not be so hard on ourselves, we don’t have to do anything; we are worthy on days when we literally don’t do anything. If there’s a day you have to stay in bed, that’s ok. The myth that we always have to be better—just take it easy more kindness and grace

More at: https://miriamverheyden.com/

Specifically, the book that started Everything is Broken and Completely Fine

Dr. Natalaya Androsova, a writing and dissertation coach, studied linguistics & the communication and cultural aspects of language for her PhD. When I recorded this episode with Dr. Androsova, I felt so seen, safe, and held by her energy and trust with the universe. What I left knowing was that my inner writing critic isn't about my prose: It’s about my inability to prioritize time. Each of us might be “cobblers without shoes” as we pour our heart and soul onto the page, but are not yet published or not published in the way we hope. We talk about our own personal practices, remind you that you are never alone, and encourage you to remember that someone else might benefit from your words. Keep writing, keep sharing, build your trust in yourself, and as Natalya shares, you can borrow her trust in the meantime.

Other key takeaways:

• Meditation can change relationship to writing and to Self
• Be an apprentice of language- be open to what it has to teach and show today
• We need to chisel away at the heaviness or writing. The heaviness we’ve put on ourselves and our writing; When she works with a client, she sees a person in front of her…she sees the whole, creative, brilliant, person, she doesn’t see “lack.”
• She had to give up what she loves or find a new way (find a way) … then wrote 3 books in 3 years via 30-45 min
• Trust life fully
• Say yes to where life invites me if it aligns with my values; no more serving fear
• Magic of 7 min writing meditation (more than 5 superficial and not overwhelming) from working with 100s of people
• Writing is the meaning; freedom. "You come to the mat, I come to the page."
• Safety, security, money, prestige—are all just external noise
• When we believe life is my best friend, has my back, is my secretary—magical synchronicity happen
• Less we try to manage, the more successful life is
• This document isn't a representation of your worth
• Put down the need to change system, to surrender, it’s not about other people, is there a seeming conflict or miscommunication- the key is to look inside. What am I making this mean? Find joy within any circumstance
• How important relationship with self: self reflection, self reliance, self compassion, self kindness, self forgiveness, self acceptance, self advocacy and self talk
• Rare to be “not” flourishing because such a relationship with self
• If you don’t need your books to be sold; you can be disciple of what you love; then writers and readers can be free
• Expertise of others is distracting; show up as yourself
• Everyone takes a journey from self doubt to self trust.. if you need to borrow my faith and trust, you can… you are not alone, there’s help and you have the strength and resources to trust yourself and be kind to yourself and writing

More at:

https://www.writingdissertationcoach.com/

https://www.instagram.com/natalya_androsova_/

When I wanted to speak with someone about how to weave more faith and spirituality into my work as an academic Tamra Andress launched into my mind. Tamra is a best-selling author, spiritual entrepreneur, coach, podcaster, and ordained minister. She also happens to be someone I’ve known since 9th grade. When I stepped away from social media, she was stepping in and up with a colorful platform that “sells words” related to “obliterate(ing) shame and activat(ing) purpose” and putting faith at the forefront of entrepreneurial endeavors. We keep it pretty faith agnostic— so that you can see how spirituality can be an element within any given moment.

Her book, Always Becoming, is on bookshelves everywhere.

Tune in at F.i.T. in Faith podcast.

And her website: https://tamraandress.com/

Highlights include:

• I can be all of myself, in all places. Here you are the body as an athlete; here as the mind because you are an academic …musician, actor, mom, wife… faith is an element that shows up in every single one. Show up as who you are in every given moment.
• Living a bountiful life means not living a fragmented life…. Fragmentation will leave you disillusioned. “Disillusion will leave you lifeless and breathless.”
• There is something to aging out of other people’s perceptions…Society, media, friends and family and social network encourage one version of me.
• At a quarter life (or mid-life) crisis, someone might feel “wildly void”; that you have lost your voice not knowing what we’re passionate about, checking boxes of being busy.
• Power in intentionality; busyness not so much. I tap into my mind body and spirit. And I choose to be here. In that choice, there is fulfillment.
• When your passion becomes more of your pursuit than the prioritization of look or feel or accomplishment, you start to flourish. Passion can be hard… but favor follows friction
• Can spirit be in the medical field as much as the church?
• If you’re in the unpacking journey, just start somewhere.
• Construct a life creativity. (check out Artisan Soul).
• Let it go- keep falling, fall away from safety zone.
• Don’t “wait for tenure” or “wait for retirement”—what does that even mean?
• Sometimes people get removed when you evolve in mind body spirit entity, you might ask, “will someone evolve with me?”
  • 7 year itch, biochemically, you have changed. Continue dating while married. Don’t ever stop getting to know someone as they grow.
• Science and faith go hand in hand, but make a space where they don’t feel threatened? Academia blended with spirituality, releasing control…but those in academia want control.
• Spirituality is not a separate entity of self.
• Help other people develop passions from pains.
• Curate message from past and what you imaging future to be to serve others.
• Essence of a messenger—once you excavate- newness that is your human experience, divine revelation, learn yourself, research yourself and become more who you are supposed to be.
• I will vocalize my essence- be free in one given moment and not a destination unknown.
• Not in a religion you are in a relationship…An energetic exchange…Energy is something familiar scientifically.

Check out:

Book: Artisan Soul

Mode: Ikigai Finding Meaning in Work and Life

Is a rigid mindset holding you back? Do you have unrealistic expectations of yourself? Can we build flexibility of the mind to assist ourselves-- even our yesterday selves or our younger selves?

We've all had them: An awkward moment. We ruminate and think that we don't belong. Let's use yoga practices to ground, generate internal safety, and look at the situation with new found ease.

- Let's find our emotions.

- Identify the facts

- Visual and make peace with the moment-- that version of you doesn't even exist anymore. Find your feet.

- Visualize a red orb at the base of your spine. Expanding and contracting with your breath to invite stability and safety.

- Wrap by processing what you learned from the moment

We all have those moments that challenge us: Do we belong here? We can use our senses to revisit the moment without being overwhelmed by it.

In this brief guided visualization, we embrace a moment where we felt that we didn't belong, process it, and balance the sacral chakra of connection and creativity.

On this episode, I interview Drs. Dave Pena and Elizabeth Berry. Elizabeth posted on Instagram about pursuing a PhD being anxiety provoking. She wondered: Where are the expectations coming from and why do we (as people) perpetuate it? It’s seen as a rite of passage. Is that reason enough? She thinks, wait my boss and committee members went through this too, and her “brain goes to would I ask these in a different way? Treat myself like they’re treating me?” What happens from the time you’re a PhD student to an assistant professor. We jump right in to dialogue and Dave shares some of his experiences and the conflict between what you want (to gain skills and get out) and what your mentor wants.

What we know from research in Occupational Safety and Health is that leadership, specifically, middle management is an indicator of the environment. Which, sometimes can be toxic. Toxic to the point of illegal (some stories Dave shared offline). While all of us had different experiences, we had similar pain points of “not knowing" what we can or should do (or what a healthy level of expectation might be). Dave suggests a committee (like IACUC and IRB for grad students!). Elizabeth and I agree wholeheartedly and our conversation continues.

We wrap with the challenges of deciding to stay or leave a lab. You have to choose your right kind of hard: What suits your personality, resources, abilities. Other take aways include:

• If you are a mentor or mentee: Check on prior and current performance, attitude, past data … are they changing? What’s going on? Can something change for the better?
• Through more communication and discussion, we need to change the discourse about mental health decline during grad school
• We model based on what we’ve seen… just like we don’t know how to be students, we don’t know how to be leaders. There remains generational trauma – to break this cycle it takes people who are more awake and more in tuned with different parts of being a scholar and humans
• When people are mis-mentored, or not mentored at all, they don’t know what to do because they were never taught (you are often so deep in your content, so you don’t have time for business and pedagogy classes)
• We need more holistic education
• We’re not all having the same experience, even in the same lab, but we still experience similar pain points.
• *Bonus content of how I found yoga

Handles:

Elizabeth: @nature.neuroscience.phd

Dave: @doctor_pena and his start up: stremecoder.com and pluri.design